Remembrance
by Saraec
Summary: Kaoru is pregnant and married to the evil Saitou. But her heart belongs to her Protecter; the faithful Rurouni, Kenshin...
1. Default Chapter

Hello!

This is my very first Rurouni Kenshin-story ever! lol

I'm a newbie in the whole RK-universe, but fell in love with the KenshinKaoru paring almost right away… (Yes, I'm a silly romantic, and you gotta love those two… hehe) o

So here is my very first try at a RK-fic… There should be at least one or two more chapters if people like it, so PLEASE tell me what you think(???????) Feedback is what makes a Writer bloom.

Sara

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**_Remembrance_**

She was beautiful. Her beauty strong enough to pause even the wandering heart of a Rurouni…

The strength and light of her soul's edge strong enough to dull the power of a reverse-blade sword. Strong enough to wound one man's heart so deeply that he had to remain in her presence; surrounded in her glow, for even the slightest chance of healing.

And Kenshin had stayed. Had halted his journey on Life's path to stay in this woman's world for just a bit longer.

As her ever-present Guardian, her Friend, a Man only able to love her in protection's fleeting caress… His kisses always invisible; felt in dreams or in a gaze when those violet orbs reached out…

For her he would fight; put his own life to rest if it would keep her breathing, even if she left him vulnerable; his heart bared with endless and forbidden love.

_Kaoru Kamiya…_

He would die for her.

His Kaoru-dono…

But she was not _his_ any longer; could never be. She belonged to someone else now. Someone owned her now; even if _her_ heart hadn't agreed to the deal.

_Saitou Hajime…_

He had watched as they married only months earlier. Standing by Kaoru's side; hand on his sword; ready for any unexpected guests… But the one he wanted to slay was standing only a few metres away…

He wanted to kill Saitou for taking his beloved's happiness; had seen it as her smile fled her lips that day; disappearing in the wind and a rain of cherry-flowers.

And he was still searching for it; knowing that it was his to find… and give with his love…

Kenshin paused in the yard outside the big house which was both a home and the town's police-station. Saitou had build himself a wonderful home for himself and his wife.

_But in big rooms the emptiness always feels stronger if you have no love to fill up the void…_

He sighed, then let out a deep breath before walking the last steps to the front door. Saw that there was no horse standing tied-up outside in the early sunshine. _"Good." _He thought._ He had chosen the right time for his visit… _

He raised his hand to knock, and for a moment in his mind, the house turned into the _dojo… Their_ home; he could hear the little lake nearby, the drying laundry flowing in the breeze, Kaoru humming as she prepared the fish he had caught that morning. Made a nice lunch for the two of them.

And he saw her through the open wooden-door; sitting almost with her back turned, but still he could see her face; her _smile…_ __

_"Oh Kaoru-…"___

"Kenshin?"

"Oro?" he whispered as he was woken from this wonderful wander of his mind. His eyes were still slightly blind by the veil of a day-dream, but the sound of a soft and familiar voice lifted it slowly… And he saw her once more.

"Kaoru-dono…"

She stood before him now; leaning against the door-frame. Beautiful as ever before; embracing him in her light. And he saw that she was blooming; the rosebuds of her cheeks, the glow of life in her eyes; a picture framed by the black silk of her hair.

His gaze was then drawn to the visible bulge of her stomach; heard the silent cry from her entire being for his protection... and something more he couldn't give. But he wanted to… _Oh, how he wanted. _Wanted to reach out and touch her; hold her to him…

Give her back the smile which was still missing…

-

"Did Saitou leave you here all alone?" Kenshin asked with a slight frown to his brows as he held onto Kaoru's hand and helped her to ease down onto a pile of pillows on the floor.

"He is just out on a short errand; he should be back soon…" She smiled at him gratefully as he placed another pillow to rest against her lower back. She hadn't even told him that that was the spot that always pained her. "We didn't know you were coming today, Kenshin otherwise I'm sure he would have stayed home."

"It's alright. Please don't apologize for him…" He sat down beside her; turned slightly so he could face her; smiled when he drowned in the depths of her eyes. "It was _you_ I came to see."

"Oh…" she blushed and lowered her eyes; hiding them beneath those long, black lashes, then slowly she raised her head; dared to look at him again while her hands hugged the curve holding the new life. "I'm fine, Kenshin… Really!"

She gasped when a finger was suddenly under her chin; tipping her face back up. Warmth filled her, sent by invisible paths from his body to hers led by this small and gentle touch.

"Are you… Kaoru-dono?" he asked her, mirroring her in his eyes; eyes that read the words of her heart even when she left them unsaid. "Are you really?"

She sighed and averted her eyes once more. "I can't answer your question in any other way, Kenshin…" Her voice was little more than a whisper.

"Can't or won't?" He tilted his head to meet her gaze again. His tone was velvet-soft and his fingertips brushed the soft skin on her chin; still cradling her face.

She saw the sun play in the mane of his red hair; followed the different patterns of light dancing across every crimson strand, but she didn't answer…

"How do you think I feel?" she said suddenly, gently slapping his hand away. "I feel like I have a filled bucket of tofu inside of me…" She laughed a little; a laughter much too light for those sad eyes… "And I just LOVE to waddle around like an overweight duck and relieve myself 20 times a day…" She paused and her cheeks then flushed when she realised what she had just said.

"Uhm… I mean…"

"I'm sorry that it's that bad, but I still think you walk gracefully…" Kenshin said; his eyes once again focused on her pregnant stomach.

"I do not!" Kaoru exclaimed before talking a very big gulp of her tea.

"You do." The soft smile still curled Kenshin's lips.

"I. Do. NOT!!!"

"But you do, Kaoru-dono…"

The words had only just left his mouth before her hand came up to pull at his ponytail. With a deep, soft laugh he grabbed her hand; halting her quest, and then paused; watching as their fingers slowly entwined…

"Kaoru-" he began, but she wouldn't let him pull away.

"Ssshh… you stubborn Rurouni…" she whispered before guiding his hand to her. "Now, just feel…" And while holding his gaze, she placed Kenshin's palm on her stomach; saw the wonder and joy in his eyes as he felt the movement inside.

"Oro! Oh, Kaoru-dono…" he breathed and his hand shook a bit; moved by happiness… And a knowledge that was still his alone… at least for a while.

Kaoru giggled and covered his hand with her own. And in that moment a true smile was born from the petals of her lips; blooming for him…

Not long after, Saitou returned; killing Kaoru's laughter instantly. And Kenshin watched as her smile also slowly died in the wake of her husband's arrival. For long moments he tried keeping it alive, but it was in vain.

"Himura Battousai…" Saitou hissed while glaring at the swordsman with his dark, narrow eyes. "What brings you to my home?"

Kenshin stood, but held his hand out when Kaoru tried to stand as well. "Don't," he said in that soft tone that was always for her. "Just sit back down Kaoru-dono; the pillows are more comfortable for you…" He watched and helped her ease back down; gave her a smile before turning to Saitou.

"I don't like to be called by that name… Especially not by people who are supposed to be my friends…" Kenshin's voice was calm but sharp as a blade. "Please just call me Kenshin."

Saitou didn't respond; instead he reached into his pocket; pulled out a thin, brown cigarette and lit it, letting the grey smoke flow out through his nostrils.

Kenshin frowned at this; knew that this habit wasn't good for Kaoru or her unborn child… Hell, Saitou could die of it too in the end… _He could always hope. _But maybe he shouldn't say anything; after all, this was Saitou's home; his domain, everything here belonged to him, and was only within reach for a poor Samurai because Saitou allowed it to be.

One wrong word or move, and a limit would be drawn; a barrier would be build separating him forever from what gave his life meaning. And behind that barrier what he had made bloom would whiter and die, he knew. And he could never, not ever, let that happen.

His head turned to her again, as if on reflex; for an endless moment he gazed down into Kaoru's wide-open-eyes; calmed her with one glowing gaze. But he kept silent for her…

"Kaoru!" Their moment was shattered by Saitou's voice. "I would like to talk with _Kenshin_ alone now…"

"But Saitou-san…" Kaoru whispered, looking at her hands instead of her husband. "What about your food… tea?"

"It's alright, Kaoru-dono…" Kenshin had bent down in front of her and was now covering both of her hands with one of his own. "I still have my tea…" He nodded to the small cup where some of the liquid still remained. "You just go and rest…" He helped her to stand; completely ignoring that her husband was in the room. "You have two to sleep for now," he told her with a smile.

They both watched as the door to the other room slid closed, and then Saitou turned his eyes to glare at Kenshin, his mouth twisted into an evil, little smirk.

"It pains you, doesn't it?" His voice was like acid.

"Hm?" Kenshin tore his eyes away from the door; his brows deeply frowned when their eyes met. "What does?"

Saitou came to him; moved in and placed himself with his back against the door; blocking it. "It pains you to know that she is mine." He then drew his sword and placed it between them with its tip biting into the floor. _The limit had been drawn…_

"I-I don't know what you're talking about…" Kenshin stuttered and even though he knew that Saitou would not fight him here and now, his hand unconsciously drifted to rest on his own sword.

"You are a very bad liar_… Battousai_!" Saitou said as he smirked around his cigarette. He took a long drag and blew out the smoke; catching Kenshin in the grey fog; a fog which hid those violet eyes for a moment, leaving a small golden spark in its wake.

"You know, this is actually much more fun than to kill you in a regular fight; this way I can watch you suffer…" He smirked and threw the cigarette away while walking forward towards Kenshin who was backing a few steps. "Oh yes! My _dear_ Himura… this way I have your heart right here in my hand and can watch it shatter!" He clenched his fist in front of Kenshin's eyes.

"And your death will be slow and painful. The only strength left in your heartbeat being this silly feeling called: Love…"

Kenshin's head was bowed slightly; his eyes shielded by flaming red, and then revealed again as he spoke: "You don't… _love_ Kaoru-dono…?"

"Love her?" Saitou's laughter made Kenshin grit his teeth, and the golden spark turned into a tiny flame… "She loves _you_…" Saitou purred very close to his ear now. "And that is enough!" He paused; studied the Rurouni's face; drank in the pain there; the sweet rage…

His voice was full of twisted bliss. "When she cries it's like watching you bleed…"

Kenshin drew back as if stricken by a burning blade. His eyes now like windows to a torn soul. Everywhere he hurt, and only the blood from a shattered heart was flowing through his veins. _It hurt… _

Drop by drop it flowed… Like tears; hidden, unstoppable…

"You…" Kenshin hissed. All strength had left him, but he drew his sword with the anger growing in his being; an anger calling; trying to wake the slumbering Battousai. "I will protect Kaoru-dono and her child…" His eyes met Saitou's above the silver blade. "…Even against you!"

"Ahhh! This is amusing…" Saitou laughed; leaned slightest against the hilt of his own sword. "Well, while you do that, you must remember to tell her your little secret… Right, _Battousai_? Or should I say _our_ little secret, now when you are so unwillingly sharing it with me…?"

Kenshin frowned, lowering his sword just a bit. "What secret?"

Saitou drew out time; let Kenshin listen to the confused, racing rhythm of his own heart for what felt like a terrible eternity.

"A secret that only I and that woman-Doctor of yours know about. A secret which you and my dear wife have chosen to forget or hide in a soul which is now wide open…"

Only the sound as Kenshin drew in a sharp breath broke the silence, but it was Saitou who spoke again. "The secret that the child Kaoru is carrying is a Spring-child; conceived in the month of May…"

"Months before she became mine…"

"In a time where you; _Rurouni_ was the only man in her proximity…"

_TBC… (If you want?) _


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! You guys are really amazing… Thank you SO much for the many wonderful reviews!!!!

Yes! Your questions should be answered in time with the development of the story. And ask for some Kenshin/Kaoru loving: Of course! That is the heart of this little tale of mine, and it will come in not too long.

So thanks again, and I really hope you will enjoy this new chapter too… (Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!)

Love, Sara

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**_Remembrance_**

_Chapter 2_

Kaoru's eyes opened wide at the sound of fine wood working as the door to the small room was pulled aside. A sound waking her from a short dance with sleep which had given no peace.

She had curled up on the bed; tried as she did every time, to forget that it was made for two, but failing always. The sickening scent of smoke already lingered too deep... The smell alone bringing newborn tears to her eyes.

Bowing her head down while pulling her legs as close to her stomach as she could, she had let the black, silky curtain of her hair hide the tears as they fell. And Kaoru had bit her lip as she cried; cradling the little life she felt reacting to her sorrow; moving uneasily within the protecting circle of her body.

She had heard as one voice raised in anger broke through the silence she had fought to retrieve; only one voice… Saitou's. She knew Kenshin was speaking too; could not hear the words, but the sound as he spoke had reached her as a soft vibration mixing with the rhythm of her heart.

Calming not only one soul, but two…

With a vision blurred by the teary veil, she had watched the two shadows to be seen through the door's thin barrier. Screamed silently when Kenshin drew his sword and the sabato's silhouette inflicted an invincible wound on the air before her eyes.

Had felt the vulnerability in her Rurouni even then; knew that he needed the shield only she could give. But as she reached out, the barrier was there in shape of a closed door, and a limit separated her suddenly from her beloved swordsman. A limit marked by Saitou's body and his sharpened blade.

"Kaoru!"

She heard his voice and fought to sit up straight as quick as she could in a battle with her body which protested at the sudden movement. She moaned as pain shot up her spine then, but kept fighting alone. Knew that Saitou's ears had deafened themselves to those sounds a long time ago.

"Yes…" she answered him finally; voice strained from the feelings she tried so deeply to suppress. Pain. Sorrow. Anger. Love… No.

Yes! _Love._For a Rurouni…

She waited for his questions; the interrogation which always followed one of Kenshin's visits. Words to close the cage; captivating her heart and soul once more after their gentle but brief liberation by Kenshin's hands. But none came this time, and Kaoru had to speak in the end to pause the worried cry from her mind.

"I-Is Kenshin still here?" she whispered, trying to make out Saitou where he stood still in the shadows. Already knowing the answer to her own question. _She could feel it… _"Maybe he wants to stay for dinner. I-I could make som-"

"Your Rurouni has left!" A ring of smoke floated passed her face, and Saitou seemed to emerge from it; suddenly so near… "He has abused my hospitality more than enough." Those dark eyes narrowed and Kaoru whimpered before he even touched her. "My… possessions…"

-

_"May was such a beautiful month this year… I'm surprised your dear Kaoru-dono doesn't remember…" _Kenshin had felt blood tickle the skin of his palm; holding his sword with a shaking hand and battling with his killer-instinct as Saitou urged it to rouse with his gleeful and taunting words.

_"But who knows? Maybe it's for the best… What could a poor Rurouni like you give her anyway? Nothing that I can't do better!" _Saitou smirked while he let his eyes run across Kenshin's body from feet to glowing golden eyes; as if measuring him for a mental fight in waiting.

_"Much better…" _

"You don't love her…" he'd answered; those few, simple words holding all his strength…

And his gift for Kaoru and her unborn child; something Saitou could never give…

With that he had turned on his heel and left the house; knowing that that door would never be open to him again, unless he broke it down. But Kenshin also knew that to cross the limit and break the invisible barrier he would need something stronger, more powerful than even a reverse blade sword.

-

"Don't look so scared, Kaoru… Kenshin has not gone wandering again." Saitou leaned in and brushed some locks of long, soft hair out of his young wife's face. The gesture was almost gentle, but from the hold on her wrist a bruise was blossoming, and his eyes told that he fed on her despair. "I just don't need him around to take care of _my _wife…"

Kaoru just sat there; her eyes lowered beneath long lashes while her free hand rested on the precious bulge. If she tried she could still feel the warmth where Kenshin's hands had been.

_"Kenshin…"_

"…He has done more than enough already!" She gasped and her eyes sprang open when Saitou's other hand suddenly pressed against her stomach just lightly while those words left his lips.

"S-Saitou-san…" She stuttered; trying in vain to back away. "W-What are you doing?"

"Mmmm…" Saitou hissed, only holding her tighter. "You look so divine when you're scared." His voice was sickly sweet; so soft he was almost humming. Then he grabbed a handful of her hair; pulling her head closer with a sharp jerk so he could sniff it. "And you smell of spring-flowers… blooming in… _May_…"

-

Kenshin paused outside the house; stood in the sunshine while his feet gave him the chance to change his mind before they would carry him away.

Once, he turned his head and saw the closed door; saw Kaoru; beautiful and smiling in his mind…

_"She doesn't remember…" _

He closed his eyes tightly, but Saitou's voice, his words resounded over and over again until they took shape as a shadowy opponent only visible in the mental battle within his mind.

The sword cut through the fresh autumn-air followed by Kenshin's anguished cry…

-

Tears filled Kaoru's eyes once more; this time falling unhidden. And Saitou watched, smiling… Each droplet turning crimson in his mind.

In _her_ eyes he could watch Battousai in agony. And as long as he kept Kaoru trapped within his self-made web weaved from power and cruelty, his torture and defeat of Kenshin would be endless…

_"Mmmm yes…" _he thought. _"The tears only inflamed her beauty…"_

-

The branch descended to the ground killed by a single stroke from a reverse blade sword; the orange and yellow leaves falling slowly; sliding from the sky like tears from a man who didn't even have the strength left to cry himself…

---

Kaoru paused and placed the two filled buckets of tofu down on the ground beside her feet, and her hands now being free, she pressed them against the small of her back. Sighed deeply at the dull ache which had taken up permanent residence there.

Lifting one hand, she wiped the sweat off her brow, and taking another deep breath she willed herself to continue the journey to her home… _No. Saitou's house. Home was still at the dojo… _She wished that her baby could be born there; (where she had been) near her friends, her grandfather…

Kenshin…

_Was Kenshin still at the dojo? Was he still there at all? _

She had not seen him since the day he came to visit her at Saitou's house, and that was over 1 week ago. She had wanted to go search for him; wanted to follow him and bring him back… _home._ As she always had in the past.

Before Saitou… Before, in a time which now seemed lost forever…

These thoughts overwhelmed her, and the sorrow they brought shook her body and made her head swim. Suddenly she could no longer feel her legs and the loud thump when the buckets fell filled her ears while her hands went to shelter her stomach and the life inside.

Dry lips moved; forming words but no sound came out: _"Ken-shin… Ken… shin…" _

"Kaoru-dono…"

And that was the sound that reached her when reality took her back; not the sound of her own body hitting the ground, but the sound of a voice reaching for her with tender softness and a wonderful familiarity.

"Kenshin…"

The Rurouni held Kaoru in his arms; for just a moment he allowed himself to do so; could sense that her feet had not found their right place on the ground quite yet.

He smiled as he found her slightly heavier than he remembered; could feel the fine curve of her bottom and growing bosom as she leaned into him. The wonderful weight of a Mother to-be… But Kenshin knew he could still carry her if she needed him to.

"Kenshin… W-What are you doing here?" She looked up at him with an expression that was far from grateful.

He smiled at that, _this _was the Kaoru he knew; no need to look like a pregnant woman in distress even if that was the case. He tilted his head to one side setting the ruby locks in motion, and lifted one hand to brush a dark lock of Kaoru's now ruffled hair out of her eyes before answering.

"I was on my way to see you…" he answered in a tone that spoke like they had never been apart. "But now you have spared me the rest of the walk…"

The smile never left his lips even as she slowly stepped back out of his arms, but with those glowing eyes he still held her… _He wanted her to remember. He could help her if only she would let him. Together they could find and share that memory once more. _

_A memory that could maybe set her free…_

_If only…___

"Kauro-dono are you alright?" His worry for her was stronger than even his own dreams. "I saw you stumble-"

"Yes, yes. I'm fine. I was just clumsy…" She stood up straight in front of him; _so graceful! _Then pointed to the two buckets which now lay overturned on the ground. "They were just so heavy."

Kenshin frowned; lifting first one bucket then the other. "You should not carry these things at all, Kaoru-dono…" He tried to make his voice stern, but failed as always with her. And moments later he was smiling again; nodding towards the bulge on her stomach which seemed to have grown even bigger in the short time since he was last near her. "You are already carrying enough…"

"Well now, Kaoru-dono…" Suddenly Kenshin let the buckets drop again, and instead reached out to grab hold of one of her hands. "Since you're outside the house on your own in your condition, I take it that Saitou isn't home today…?"

Kaoru giggled; the wonderful sound sending vibrations through their entwined fingers and settled as a pleasant warmth in Kenshin's chest. "No…" she said while pursing out her lips; her cheeks blushing stronger than the finest cherries. _Suddenly he remembered that expression from another place, another time…_

"He isn't home, but I think you already know that, my dear Rurouni… Isn't that why you chose_ today_ to come see me?" She lifted a fine brow in question.

Kenshin nodded without a word.

"I have something for the baby…" he finally said. "But I can only show you if you come with me now…"

An eternity seemed to pass as he waited for her answer… And it came; in her smile bringing them light on an otherwise cloudy autumn-day. And in the way her hand tightened around his as she followed him; let him lead her away…

The first raindrops fell slowly into the half-filled buckets they left behind.

-

Together they wandered; passed familiar places, but many times Kaoru felt like she was seeing it all anew. The light rain also found them, and the wet ground gave Kenshin a chance to carry his Kaoru-dono; helping her safely over each place where her feet might had given way.

And each time, Kaoru felt a soft rush through her body; memories hidden deep within her heart knocking on the door to her mind, but Saitou's lock of fear still held it closed tightly, she couldn't open it yet. _Not alone…_

Finally they reached their place and Kenshin put her back down on safe ground. He helped her to sit down in the damp grass; let her use his body to lean against, so she could at least forget about the physical pain when she was with him.

And he could relish in the feel of just having her near…

"Close your eyes…" he then whispered to her, brushing his fingers across her eyelids just in case.

And moments later the sound reached for her; a melody; a wordless song of love; a lullaby to a child not yet born…

She dared to open her eyes then, and Kaoru saw him; her Rurouni… Kenshin sat with closed eyes, gently blowing into the small, wooden flute; the nimble fingers of one hand playing each tone, while his other hand had dropped from her eyes and now rested near her cheek.

She watched him, and from the flute came the voices of a Spring not long ago. Flowers, birds, feelings which could never be denied. A Freedom now lost…

She watched as his hair fell around his face; like soft, crimson feathers gently tousled by the wind… _"My wild, wandering bird…" _she thought as he continued to play his song to her and the child within her.

_"When you do fly, please take me with you…" _her heart begged him, but she didn't say anything…

"It has grown." Kenshin smiled as he felt the movement beneath his palm; felt the heat of Kaoru's skin through the fabric of her kimono. He seemed to think for a moment, then looked at her again. "In 5 months…" he placed the flute in her palm; closed her fingers around it. "In 5 months this baby will come into the world… Soon I will be able to see its eyes when I play." He hugged her hand tightly in his own bigger one.

"You keep this for me, Kaoru-dono…" he whispered, gazing deeply into her eyes. "Give it to the baby if I'm not there when it is born…" He put a finger gently to her lips before she could form words for any protest. "Keep it, and know that I will always come to play… for you both." In his eyes lay a promise not spoken with words. "Always…"

Kaoru felt happy tears well up in her eyes when she accepted Kenshin's gift. He was so sweet and considerate; Saitou had not given her anything for the baby, had not spoken of her pregnancy unless it was in anger. She shivered as he entered her thoughts unbidden; violated the sanctuary created for this moment in time, with the help of a beloved Rurouni.

She felt as Kenshin's hands sought her stomach once again, and she let them rest there; felt as they calmed the little one inside… _Could it feel the happiness he brought her? _

A happiness devoured by worry and fear when Kenshin spoke again; whispered softly against her ear as he dared to hold her to him.

"…And know… My dear Kaoru-dono… that this baby is mine…"

_TBC…_


End file.
